East Coast Offroad

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.

Two Blonde's overheard in a changing booth. "I lost 20 pound's while over in England last month" said one. "Really? how much is that in Dollar's?" asked the other.
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A guy walks into a shop and asks the Blonde store owner if she had any coloured TVs. "Yes" replied the Blonde "We have red, blue and green. What color do you want?"

Well this particular "DUMB BLONDE" that I am talking about is one of my best friends. So of course when something big is going on in her life, I'm there. Yes, I'm talking about the big driving test. You Know the one where you get your license? Well anyway, this was her first time driving in her life. So she gets in the car with the instructor. When she put the car in drive it started to roll so she slams on the brakes. then the instructor tells her to take it easy and slowly pull out of the parking lot.Miami Heat jerseys
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Miami Heat shirts so she starts out good, then all of a sudden floors it, almost hitting the car in the opposite lane then comes to a screeching halt. Then she sticks her head out of the window and yells while laughing hysterically "Oh my god, I thought I was pressing on the brake, oops." Needless to say she didn't get her license.

Top Ten Reasons To Celebrate Resurrection Sunday (Easter)

10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

9. You look really, really good in yellow.

8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.

7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
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6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.

5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.

4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.

3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."

2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.

1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?

Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, YourVibram Fivefingers Classic Grey Red Black
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Honour. So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!" That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Fucking Son of a Bitch!!