East Coast Offroad

Be sure to make full use of all your excess energy by tearing around the house at full speed, attacking anything that moves, climbing the drapes, scooting across tables, counters and shelves, taste-testing plants and cords, and generally driving the humans crazy. Best Vibram FiveFingers Men's Flow
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Best Vibram FiveFingers Men's KSO TrekWhen exhausted, flop down anywhere comfortable and sleep. After waking up, eat and continue the fun! You will quickly learn that night-time is the best time for playing because so many things can hide in the shadows.

A collection of insults!
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.

The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
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You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Sit down and give your mind a rest.

Needles Are Not Nice
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"
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"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.